2010 is about to end and I can say that despite all the challenges its been the best year. Yes I began the year with my son in the ER with Pneumonia and two weeks later I was in the ER myself with panic attacks due to all my pent up anger. After that it was 4 months of therapy, of me venting, purging, and slowly obtaining some peace in my life. Ive had to relinquish control to many things, for one I have no control over other people, I need to accept who they are and not allow them to infringe upon my happiness and indirectly that of my son. Its been difficult, but I'm happy, im stress free, I am at peace, and my child? My child is my joy, my life saver, my motivator, my cheer leader. He is my world.
A year and a half later I'm still single, I avoid dating, though from time to time I do push myself to it but then I feel awkward. Like its not time yet, its like I've lost who I am and I have to piece that person together again. I yearn for love in my life, for someone to share it with, but I don't trust any man. That's the lesson he left me with. I don't believe anyone out there is capable of the love I want. No one.
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